BMW man: You are the last girls in the province not to be in FedEx boxes en route to divorcees in Florida. You look nice.
Girl 1: Thank you. Our clothing and accessories were purchased from the Prostitute Be Us shop in Donetsk. I notice your BMW has only 60,000 miles on it.
[Enter armoured personnel carrier]
Soldier: Low mileage in a vehicle is overrated: this machine has been crushing enemies since Stalingrad. And breaking down a lot.
Girls 1, 2, 3: Awesome!
[Girls offer soldier jug of vodka distilled from Cossack's moustache]
Girl 2: I like this man - he reminds me of my cousin Sergei from Chernobyl, only without the additional face.
Girl 3: Let us follow him - syphilis is better than living in this village, surely?
Girl 2: And maybe, if we go with these men, we will get free bungalow overlooking naval base in Odessa!
Girls: The grey sea and some rusty frigates! That is the life for me!
VO: Join the Ukrainian Army on a contract basis, and we will let you drive a small tank, which in turn will get you sex.
Why doesn't the MoD do stuff like this?